September Must Read Part 3:
The Lighthouse Method: How Busy Overloaded Moms Can Get Unstuck and Figure Out What to Do with Their Lives
by Stacy Kim
For women who are in transition with careers or becoming a mom for the first time, the Lighthouse Method: How Busy Overloaded Moms Can Get Unstuck and Figure Out What to Do with Their Lives by Stacy Kim book is a terrific read. It only comes in an e-book version, but it is also only $2.99. I knew I’d like the book since the cover picture is a lighthouse with a cork popping out of it like a bottle of champagne. I even committed to opening a bottle when I started reading it, which is something I recommend.
Stacey explains why women tend to get stuck in their day to day lives. It starts with the concept that women are selfless givers. We always want to take care of everyone else before we take care of ourselves. So if we give all our attention and energy to everyone else, we will never have enough time to think about what we want.
How about being a perfectionist, does this sound like you? Most women want to plan for everything and only act when they feel they are fully capable and knowledgeable on their choice. If they aren’t confident, then they won’t go out on the limb and try something new or apply for that promotion. What happens if you plan every detail out, but nothing goes according to plan? This is what Stacey is trying to show in her book, that you can plan all you want, but taking that first step is what matters most.
She calls these little steps rowing, as in you are rowing in your boat toward a lighthouse, or your goal. And the critical point she makes about the "rowing" is to make sure it is enjoyable. Hard work doesn’t have to be gruesome and exhausting. If you find yourself dragging your stilettos in the ground then maybe it is time to “row” somewhere else or to a new goal.
I personally love the idea of always doing something for yourself each day that brings you happiness and satisfaction. I always take my dog for a walk either in the morning or evening or both, and it is probably the one thing I love doing every time. I didn’t realize how much a simple walk with my little Dotson, Duke, brightens my mood after a long day at the office. It helps me digest what happened during work before I have to tackle my house chores and cook dinner.
Stacy and I exchanged emails for a bit, and she gave me some advice for anyone who seems to be floundering for an extended period of time. Maybe you have a goal of going back to work after leaving to raise your children or take care of your parents. However, you just can’t seem to find the right first steps to get your feet wet. She explained if you are struggling to find your lighthouse or seem to be rowing for too long, then you are probable being pulled in too many directions. You might be switching paths too often or not taking the “most enjoyable direction.” She said it is hard for women to give themselves full permission to go after what they really want. One way to help this is to give yourself a time limit, such as 2 to 3 months. If after the 2 or 3 months, you aren’t happy then it is time to change the route to your lighthouse. The key is to give it all of your attention for those months. You can get more personal advice and insights at her website: lifejunctions.com.
The Lighthouse Method is a quick read, and can be applied not only to mothers but to anyone looking for more enjoyment in their life and their careers. I think it might be time for women to stop being trying to be a perfectionist, which let’s be honest is impossible anyway, and start doing something because we are passionate about it. We can plan all we want, but there will always be new obstacles we have to face that weren’t in our blueprint. Just start rowing your boat toward your lighthouse, or champagne bottle, and you’ll find your way.
If you have any book suggestions, please share them with me at Jessica.email@example.com or post them on my Facebook page Jessica Weaver, Wealth Advisor.
Jessica Weaver, CFP®, CDFA™, CFS®
The foregoing information has been obtained from sources considered to be reliable, but we do not guarantee that it is accurate or complete, it is not a statement of all available data necessary for making an investment decision, and it does not constitute a recommendation. Any opinions are those of Jessica Weaver and not necessarily those of Raymond James.